


is it a video? can i restart?

by bashfulisak



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Mentions of hospitals, Song Lyrics, call me by your name references, kinda graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-01 09:42:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13995585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bashfulisak/pseuds/bashfulisak
Summary: I have loved you for the last timeIs it a video? Is it a video?I have touched you for the last timeIs it a video? Is it a video?





	is it a video? can i restart?

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time trying to write such a fic like this,,,,
> 
> sorry in advance (if it sucks or if it makes u cry)
> 
> feel free to yell @ me :)
> 
> mainly inspired by the song visions of gideon from call me by your name
> 
> enjoy

_Blood pressure is dropping, breathing is slowing. Get him on the ventilator, stat. Brain activity is dropping - he's becoming unresponsive. Pupils are blown, two ribs on each side are broken, internal bleeding. We're losing him, and fast._

—

_I have loved you for the last time,_

_Is it a video? Is it a video?_

—

Isak grips at the bed sheets in the early morning as Even pushes deeper into him, not bothering to hold back his moans as he holds onto Even's shoulders, grasping, nails digging into the flesh of the gorgeous man above him, scratching lightly as he mewls, back arching up off the bed as Even adjusts them and hits just the right spot, words tumbling out of his mouth, over and over.

_Even. Even. Even._

Gasping, sweating, moaning, holding on to each other, almost mending as Even loves Isak, praises the younger boys body, telling him over and over.

_I love you. I love you. I love._

Love sometimes doesn't last as long as we want it to, and Isak figured that out the hard way.

—

_I have touched you for the last time,_

_Is it a video? Is it a video?_

—

"We're going to be carved into the stars, you know that, right?" Isak tells Even. It's an early Tuesday morning, both of them lying in bed, alarms on silent as they revel in the presence of one another, hands roaming and tracing every single inch of each other's skin, riddling it with goosebumps. Even chuckles as he runs a hand through Isak's curls, the younger boy almost purring at the touch.

"Oh darling, I knew that since I laid eyes on you," Even responds and Isak raises a questioning eyebrow, fingertips lightly trailing down Even's back, circling just above his boxers.

"Did you know that we'd be lying here together in our own apartment in high school?" Isak asks and Even gives him a nod, moving his hand from Isak's golden curls, the light from the window catching them just right, causing them to shine, and moves his hand down to Isak's jaw, cupping it.

"I knew that I wanted to be with you, no matter where we were," Even says and Isak can't hold back his grin, burying his face in the pillow as Even laughs, thumb tracing his jawline. "We'll be carved in the stars, my dear, for all infinity."

Isak had no idea that their infinity would be cut so short.

—

_For the love, for laughter, I flew up to your arms,_

_Is it a video? Is it a video?_

—

Isak shakes his head, trying to bite back a smile as he sees Even standing by his car near the school lot, patiently waiting for him. Isak rolls his eyes, heart swelling with adoration and love as he approaches Even who's arms are wrapping around his waist, pulling him in close and instantly entrapping him. Isak laughs quietly, wrapping his arms up around Even's neck, their bodies pressed against one another, Even's back pressed into the side of the car as they hold each other, blue eyes locking with green. 

"Did my baby have a good school day?" Even asks and Isak scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"Do I look like I'm five?" Isak teases and Even chuckles.

"I suppose not. Maybe twelve?" Even studies Isak for a minute as Isak swats at his shoulder. Even hums in approval. "Definitely twelve."

"God, shut the fuck up," Isak murmurs as he buries his face into Even's neck, breathing deep as Even hugs him tighter, almost lifting him up off the ground and Isak still feels like he's soaring through the clouds whenever Even holds him, heart pumping faster in his chest.

Isak just wishes he could have paused that moment and lived in it forever.

—

"Do you want to stop by KB before heading home to pick up a coffee?" Even asks as he drives down the roadway, Isak's hand in his between their seats and Isak nods, smiling softly.

"Yes, please," Isak answers and Even smiles, admiring the boy sitting beside him whose eyes are focused on the outside, following every little thing they pass along the way. 

Even just wished he wasn't such a thought-drifter person.

As Even's eyes avert back to the road, he finds himself in a different lane, cars heading towards him, honking, people screaming, flailing their arms to try and get him on the other side. The people outside aren't the only ones screaming—

So is Isak.

"Even, watch the fuck out! There's a red light—"

The pressure that Even feels in his side is overwhelming, like a fire spreading all over his skin, leaving burns and marks and he can feel everything in the car shifting as they roll into the next lane over, the car hitting them from the right side, hitting the driver side directly and Even can feel it in his bones— in his chest— in his heart— he's drifting away from Isak, but he doesn't want to leave him. Not like this.

Even takes a sharp breath, the pain scorching his insides like he's swallowed a hot coal and he can hear Isak screaming next to him.

"Even! Even, fuck, are you okay? Please— shit, the paramedics should have been here— please talk to me!" Isak cries, desperately trying to reach for Even in the seat next to him but Even can't find the power to move, to look at Isak. Even feels the warmth of blood trailing down his head and he can taste it in his mouth. He feels a hand grab onto his and it's Isak's, his whole hand covered in blood and God, Even hopes it's not Isak's.

Even feels like his chest is on fire with every struggling breath he takes, his head pounding as the oxygen dwindles in his lungs, but Isak must still have enough to keep screaming. 

Even hopes to God that Isak will survive.

He can hear people from the outside trying to get to them, the sounds of sirens coming closer to the crash scene. Even watches as his vision grows blurry, his legs and hands numb, chest burning. 

Even hopes he'll wake up and see Isak one more time.

—

Just like that, everything happens in a flash. The screeching of tires, the smell of smoke, the unbearable pain all over Isak's body, the turning and turning as the car rolls. As soon as everything stops, Isak chokes out a scream, calling for help, and as soon as his eyes lay on Even, all the air is punched out of his lungs. Isak chokes down a sob as he tries to reach for Even, calling out to him, but to no avail. He manages to lift up Even's shirt and already he sees the bruises forming due to internal bleeding. Isak's heart almost stops as he comes to realization that one of them could die—

Isak hopes to God that Even will survive.

Isak tries to get people's attention, drawing them closer to the scene, prompting them to call an ambulance as he tries over and over to get Even to say something, or do anything. Isak feels the shooting pain every time he moves and reaches for Even, but all he wants is to hold him and not let him go.

—

"Victims are Even Bech Næsheim, 20 and Isak Valtersen, 18. Driver swerved into wrong lane, car coming into impact on the driver side, causing the vehicle to roll into opposite lane. Even Bech Næsheim has reported internal bleeding, a concussion, a few broken ribs, and is unconscious and brain activity is slowing to due possible bleed in the brain. Isak Valtersen is reported to have a broken rib, arm, and dislocated shoulder along with minor cuts and bruises and is not need in surgery," the nurse recalls as Isak is rolled into the hospital right beside Even, whose chest is barely rising and Isak wants to look away and save himself he misery, but he can't tear his eyes away.

Not now.

Isak sits up on the gurney as they whisk him in an opposite direction, leading Even into surgery and Isak calls out a 'wait' but they don't listen, they don't bother turning back. 

"Wait, please— please hurry and just, put my damn arm in the cast or whatever. I need to see him. I want to. I need to be with him," Isak pleads to the doctors and nurses surrounding him and they can see the sympathy in their eyes as they bustle about, detaching and attaching cords, drawing blood, Isak hissing at the pain as they touch and prod at his arm and dislocated shoulder. Isak fights back the tears from both the pain and realization of what's happening to Even but everyone around him knows. "Please, just get me to him," Isak chokes out, heart caught in his throat and one of the nurses sighs. 

"We'll get your arm sling on and then see if we can get you down to the surgery ward, okay?"

Isak nods, almost screaming out in pain as they put his shoulder back into place and he refuses the pain medicine, standing from the bed. "Take me to him. Now."

The nurse nods and they begin to walk down the long and white corridor. They're stopped by the doctor in the middle of the hall, sadness flashing behind his eyes. "We've put him in a room, but he's on life support. All the other surgery wards are full, and not nearly close to being done." The doctor then turns to Isak, frowning at him as he looks him straight in the eye. "I'm sorry, but he may not make it to when the next surgery ward will be open."

Isak doesn't speak a word, breaking his eyes away and he swallows hard. "Let me just see him, please."

The doctor gives him a nod before turning to the nurse, giving her the go-ahead, giving them the room number. They walk in silence and Isak is the first to open the door to his room and he almost collapses to his knees as he sees Even lying still on the pure white hospital bed, the ventilation machine moving up and down slowly, his pulse slow and dull. Isak blinks back tears as he approaches the side of the bed and he can see the bruises riddled up his arms and on his side, but Isak ignores them. He takes Even's hand in his own, giving it a tight squeeze and finally, the tears begin to fall.

—

_I have loved you for the last time,_

_Visions of Gideon, visions of Gideon._

—

"Even," Isak whispers, his free hand clutching at Even's desperately. "I just want you to know that I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you. I know I'm an ass to you sometimes, and I know we have our ups and downs, but, God, I fucking love you so much. I've never loved anyone as much as I have loved you in the short amount of time we've had together. I know you're suffering, and that you're in pain, and I am too, but the thought of losing you just makes it all worse."

Isak can hear the machine beep slower and slower as his pulse begins to drop, blood pressure dropping faster by the minute.

"You've made a movie for me, we've spent countless hours together, and I just wish we could have had more, I really do— and I hope, that one day, I can make a movie all about you. To remember you, to thank you, and to cherish you, for as long as I shall live without you."

—

_And I have kissed you for the last time,_

_Visions of Gideon, visions of Gideon._

—

Isak closes his eyes, shutting them tightly, tears slipping as he presses a kiss to the back of Even's hand, ignoring the dried blood and all Isak can do is hold Even's hand to his cheek as the line goes flat, the noise ringing in his ears, and Isak chokes on a sob, his whole body almost shutting down as he watches Even take his last breath with the help of a ventilator. Isak doesn't hold back, he doesn't care about the nurse who's standing just a few feet away. He allows the emotions to hit him like a wave, a never ending tidal wave, as the pain and loss and hurt overcome him at once and he doubles over, forehead pressed into the mattress, his whole body trembling, hands shaking. 

"Thank you," Isak manages, his sobs wrecking his body.

—

_For the love, for laughter, I flew up to your arms,_

_Is it a video?_


End file.
